Sunday, February 14, 2010

Microsoft Mot

Just a short irritated post from one who is suffering the hell that is Microsoft Word. I'm pouring a conference paper into a template provided by the organisers, who are in France. The template seems to have brought with it a French spell checker. So just after I have typed a word, it changes it to the nearest equivalent in its French dictionary, or in the case of the word 'bélong', its Franglais dictionary.

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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Spam tone of voice breakthrough

I get quite a few spam comments on this blog which I have to delete. But I really like the tone of voice in this one. I think I'd like to get letters like this from my over-serious bank.
"Good day, sun shines!
There have been times of hardship when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in large starting capital.
Now, I'm happy and lucky, I begin take up real money.
It's all about how to select a proper companion who uses your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the profit with me."
Mind you, they wouldn't get my money.

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Buildings and contents

If you've ever wondered what is covered by your buildings insurance rather than your contents insurance, here's a nice definition from Aviva's website:

"If you were to turn your home upside down, everything that fell out would be your contents, and what is left would be your buildings."

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Sunday, January 03, 2010

Apostrophes in road signs, and other petitions to the Prime Minister

The e-petitions section on the Number 10 website continues to flourish - one current petition is 'We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to introduce a nationwide policy enforcing apostrophe use in road signs, applying to all local councils.'

There is still time to sign it, if this is something that keeps you awake at night. Or if you have ever got lost trying to find King's Road when all you can find is Kings Road, which is obviously somewhere else entirely.




The Conservative party recently announced plans to offer a £1m prize to the best use of social networking to harness the collective wisdom of the population in policy-making.

Judging by a good proportion of the e-petitions on the Number 10 website this is a slightly scary idea. Here's a small selection that caught my eye (mind you, I've included one that I would definitely sign):
  • Stop the post office delivering mail to residents of the east riding of yorkshire improperly addressed.
  • Ban the words 'Unlimited' in publications and/or advertisements by all companies where the service they offer is limited.
  • Label lilies and bouquets containing lilies as deadly to cats.
  • Bring Tony Blair to account over the war in Iraq.
  • Stop The Council Destroying The Graves And Let Our Beloved Rest In Peace!.
  • Force all foreigners to learn english when coming to the UK to migrate.
  • Get us out of the EU and the sooner the better.
  • Re-instate British dignity by banning political correctness against all things British!
  • Ban Goverment TV information that use fear tactics.
  • Stop the way tv licencing sends rude threatening and down right obnoxious letter to everybody based on the rather crass assumption we are all licence dodgers.

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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I spy with my little eye... branded language!

'I spy with my little eye... something's missing!'

So starts a letter I've just had from First Direct about our application to open an account. We're changing our bank account, in reaction to poor service at our previous award-winning customer-oriented bank. What was missing was information they hadn't previously asked for, so to my ear the headline is not only infantilising but blaming. Perhaps I hadn't said 'please' when I asked for a bank account.

In the same post we also got two identical welcome packs, confirming the account is open... so perhaps they don't need the other information after all. Those letters are headed 'Welcome to first direct (you'll notice the difference in minutes)'. I don't think they are ironically intended.

Now I'm not against branded language (for that is what this is) and when in professional practice used to sell it and do it. But you can't do it in an unthinking way, and every brand doesn't have to sound as chirpy as Innocent smoothies. And you have to be realistic - First Direct's tone of voice would be fine if modulated to match my likely mood (for example, with my gender, age and expressed unhappiness with previous bank, I clearly fall into the grumpy old man demographic). But their systems don't match the aspirations of their brand.

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Sunday, December 27, 2009

My spell checker is trying to hold a seminar

My spell checker just queried the word 'semiological'. It suggested it should be semi-logical. Very profound, I thought.

It reminds me of a paper Henri Henrion wrote many years ago, entitled 'Semiotics or semi-idiotics'.

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

The grocers/grocer's/grocers' apostrophe

At my public lecture the other day, a questioner raised the matter of the grocer's apostrophe - that's the apostrophe's in potato's, apple's and carrot's.

I said I wasn't particularly bothered as long as I get my potato's.

I was pleased to see support for my position on the BBC programme QI last week, where Stephen Fry said: "People have been ridiculing what has become known as the grocer's apostrophe since the eighteenth century. The Oxford Companion to the English Language notes that there was never a golden age in which the rules for the use of the possessive apostrophe in English were clear cut, and known, understood and followed by most educated people - never."

Have a look at this nice 'apostrophes for Africa' sketch with Omid Djalili playing the part of Lynne Truss, and Marcus Brigstocke on the grammar bullies on Room 101.

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Ryme Intrinsica eat your heart out

I'm sitting in Glasgow station. I had no idea there were such great place names here, so far from Dorset.

Whifflet, Shotts, Nitshill, Troon, Crossmyloof, Giffnock, Hairmyres, Bogston and Fort Matilda.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Simples


Aleksandr from the car insurance ad is campaigning to have the word 'simples' added to the 'Dictionary of English Oxford'.

With irony-sensors switched off, I could point out that it is already there, since 'simple' is a noun as well as an adjective, with the plural form 'simples'. It is used in herbal medicine to describe a remedy with just one ingredient (thanks to Judy Delin's encyclopedic mind for that).

Apparently Aleksandr's usage is catching on - someone used it in an email to me the other day, hence this geekish hunt for origins.

It turns out that as with so much, Shakespeare was there first. This is Jacques in As You Like It:
'I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the courtier's, which is proud; nor the soldier's, which is ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the lady's, which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these; but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and, indeed, the sundry contemplation of my travels; in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness.'Act 4, Scene 1.
I'm quoting it to get in the wonderful 'scholar's melancholy, which is emulation'. They had the Research Excellence Framework in the old days too it seems.

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Two notices

Two people gave me nice signs today for this blog.


James Mosley kindly sent me this photo he took sometime in the 70s – self-explanatory, I think, at least in more literate times. In case you can't read it, the top line says 'Artillery danger area'. I've been reading it aloud, trying out different accents.

Jenny came back from India with this one – we're thinking of putting it on our fence and pointing it at the students across the road from us.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The poetry of Donald Rumsfeld

Slate some years back collected together the poetry of Donald Rumsfeld. There is no point in reproducing the famous 'Known unknowns' – it is too well known. But I thought this ode to clarity would suit this blog very well.

Clarity
I think what you'll find,
I think what you'll find is,
Whatever it is we do substantively,
There will be near-perfect clarity
As to what it is.

And it will be known,
And it will be known to the Congress,
And it will be known to you,
Probably before we decide it,
But it will be known.

Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing

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Sunday, September 06, 2009

Beanfeast


Not only do signs fade – so do words. If you pass this sign in Highgate, and wonder why all the beans, let me save you the trouble. I looked it up, and a beanfeast is "an annual dinner or party given by an employer for employees". The bean bit may not be connected with beans, apparently, coming instead from the Latin bene.

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Tuesday, June 09, 2009

MPs' expenses: our small part in their downfall

I remembered the other day that we (Information Design Unit, my former company) once had the job of designing the House of Commons expenses forms. The job went on for a long long time, as different wordings were tried and rejected. Obviously I would be sent to the tower for showing them (and I don't know which version, if any, was finally used), but it seems OK to mention that the declaration closely reflects the HMRC rules on taxation of expenses: "I confirm that I incurred these costs wholly, exclusively and necessarily... for the purpose of performing my duties as a Member of Parliament". I would say that is pretty clear.

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Monday, May 11, 2009

Branding oxymoron


The new kettle in our department is all wrong. A Frigidaire is a fridge. It has to be cold.

Oddly enough, I kept trying to turn it on by pressing the switch down (I think every other kettle works that way), but you had to pull it up. I thought it was because Frigidaire is an American brand and their light switches work the opposite way to ours (up is on). Paul Luna had a more ingenious idea - if Frigidaires normally get cold when you switch them on (ie, push the switch down), to get them to be hot you had to do the opposite (ie, pull the switch up).

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Easy Read not easyRead

A quick quiz. What is Easy Read?

1. Easy-Read is an ergonomic book holder that makes it easy to hold a book and turn the pages.

2. EasyRead is an application that lets you enlarge web pages to make them easier to read.

3. Easyread is a system for teaching dyslexic children

4. Easy Read is a way to write simply for people with learning difficulties, using pictures in support of clear language.

Hint - it’s all in the capitalisation. And it’s nothing to do with Stelios. That would be easyRead.

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Sunday, March 01, 2009

school shcool


The Times recently spotted spelling mistakes in the blog published by Jim Knight, the Schools Minister, and their website features a set of 'top twenty spelling mistakes on signs around the world'. Some are the usual homophone traps ('boarder', instead of 'border') from organisations who should know better, but most are just typos or spelling mistakes on hand written notices. The criticism seems a little picky, but I did like this one. I suspect it might be one of those phonetic spelling errors I've mentioned before. I think this one was written by that Dutch guy from the Grolsch ads. Or perhaps it is a nifty slogan from Jim Knight's department, trying to show that school can be cool.

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Sunday, February 08, 2009

The power of words

The power of words was in the news this week, with Carol Thatcher's suspension from the BBC for using offensive racial language... well, the word Golliwog. Comments left on news websites were split between those who get it that the word is offensive, and those who don't. Words are offensive if they cause offense, and I'm most convinced (and moved) by the comments from people who were taunted with the name as children - such as the Independent's Ava Vidal.

Browsing in a second-hand bookshop this weekend I chanced upon what appears to be a revisionist version of a well known 1940s children's book by Robert Tredinnick.

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Saturday, January 10, 2009

This should appeal to our vicious, semi-criminal customers

Most organisations segment their customers in some way, so they can target products or communications at each group. They give names to the segments like 'empty nesters', 'cash-strapped families', 'young trendsetters' and so on. Some of these verge on the pejorative - like the one I've just seen that prompted this post, that I won't quote because I'm working with the organisation concerned at the moment. Sometimes there are informal usages within organisations - at one mobile phone company I worked with, anonymous pay-as-you-go customers who did not register their accounts were known as 'crims' or 'dealers'.








Oddly enough, I'd start writing this post when I thought I'd see what Paul Luna had put up on his Luna's café blog recently - he showed this legend from one of Charles Booth's London maps - part of his Life and labour of the people of London survey(1886–1903).

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Chance encounter

One of the joys of computer search is when it throws up strange stuff that seems much more interesting than the topic you are concerned with. Best one today is 'Sword swallowing and its side effects', an article in the British Medical Journal. I particularly like its reference to a sympton known as a 'sword throat'. Recovering from flu, I reckon that's what I have right now.

I'm a little puzzled about how this article appeared in my search for research on the effectiveness of financial advice. Perhaps sword swallowing and financial advice are both forms of trickery and illusion.

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

A worry for the literal minded



This sign I found in a Starbucks loo is a little worrying for the literal-minded... not to say anally retentive.

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Friday, July 11, 2008

Designors (a recycled post)

Many years ago when I edited Information Design Journal, I included a column of short thoughts that I called Sorts (a typographers' in-word meaning a piece of printing type, particularly an obscure symbol or character). Tidying old papers, I came across one of these columns, and it occurred to me that this blog is just a continuation of that old series. So I thought I would recycle something from 1986:

"Graphic design has become big business, but a recent ad for a personal computer graph plotter indicates that graphic designers might have something of an image problem: it promises 'a complete studio at your fingertips - with no delays, no tantrums, no egos'. Now in a slick public relations move the Society of Industrial Artists and Designers is to drop the 'artists' bit, with its connotations of temperament and other-worldliness. I understand that it has voted to change its name to the Chartered Society of Designers, redolent of chartered accountants, surveyors and so on...

They might like to go further and consider the use of the '-or' suffix, whose prestigious associations were noted some time ago by the linguist Dwight Bolinger*. 'This is evidenced in the -or of expeditor (adopted after much discussion by the members of this profession), which has appeared also in advisor, publicitor, realtor and weldor'. The only one still to appear in my dictionary is 'realtor', which turns out to be a trade mark of the National Association of Realtors...

Bolinger himself managed to achieve distinction as a linguist without changing his own name to Bolingor. Any votes for designor? graphicor?"

*Bolinger DL (1946) 'Visual morphemes', Language, 22:333-340.

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Should there be a wee comma there?

Andrew Belsey (he's my other reader) shares some quotes he's recently noted:

"Elsa Wilkins, age 6, of Annan, writing about "My Perfect Weekend" (Guardian Guide, 7 April 2007), said: "Then I go up, have a wee lie down and then jump on the bed (that gets mum up)". On first reading this I thought there should be a comma after "wee"!

"A recent magazine advertisement says "The Chrysler 300C, America's most awarded car" which prompts me to ask how many people has it been awarded to.

"I recently found this on a bookshop's website: "Store Description: Small country style internet business, all-ways ready to help a client, we deal in only quality book's, old and new". Would you buy a second-hand book from this shop?"


Well, I know I wouldn't buy vegetables from a greengrocer who wrote "bananas" not "banana's". It's all about context.

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Friday, May 30, 2008

Got alight?

Following previous posts on this, I note that you can still get a light for the Planetarium at Baker St tube station.

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Friday, May 09, 2008

Chandlery

I quoted a sailing manual in a post the other day, and I've been reading more. Much of the terminology is absolutely functional - you have to distinguish between ropes with different functions (halyards that pull sails up, sheets that control them, the painter that you tie the boat up with, and stays and shrouds that hold up the mast). And 'left' and 'right' don't really cut it when everyone on the boat is facing in a different direction. 'Port' and 'starboard' are relative to the boat itself, not the way you happen to be standing.

But it seems to me that quite a bit of nautical writing goes a little too far. It's the verbal equivalent of the gadgetry that boat owners love to buy. We love to rummage around for interesting pieces of kit - some of us want the high tech stuff, others are strictly traditional. But a lot of it is designed for selling not for using.

Verbal chandlery might describe words that are lovely to have, and to bring out from time to time, but which are not strictly necessary.

The best ones are made from wood and brass. Like the word 'witnesseth' that my solicitor included in a lease he's just drafted. Or the word 'thusly' that appeared twice in a student dissertation I've just marked.

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Thursday, May 01, 2008

Exit alight

A while back I commented on the quaint use of 'alight', meaning 'get off train'. As in the message at King's Cross underground station saying 'Alight for the Royal National Institute for the Blind' (geddit?).

At some point recently the message changed to 'exit for the Royal National Institute of Blind People'.

So farewell alight as exit enters. And exit 'for', and enter the more empowering 'of' and the more respectful 'people'.

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Home grown jargon

Hearing about the new Simplification Centre at Reading, David Betts (a retired member of staff) has written to suggest we look to our own language. As he points out, since his time, "'Porters' have become 'Building Facilities Attendants'; 'Buildings Officer' has become 'Director of the Directorate of Facilities Management and Estates'; 'Wardens' have become 'Group Senior Resident Tutors'."

Fair comment. I'll get one of our Linguistic Communication Disambiguation Officers on to it straight away.

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Friday, March 28, 2008

Pub spelling

Sign outside a bar in Reading: "Credit cards excepted". I think I know what they mean, but I suppose they could mean what they say.

Another sign outside a pub, this time in Dublin: "Help wanted. Apply wittin".

Role on phonetic spelling.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

What's that in buses?

A reader complained to the BBC today about a report on the new terminal at Heathrow airport - he thought they had been patronising in describing its length as 'three football pitches' when we would be perfectly capable of visualising metres.

In the UK, we use double decker buses for length and height, and football pitches for length and area. We also use Nelson's columns for height, and Wales is our unit of large area. And, as Stephen Fry pointed out on the telly the other day, we use fahrenheit for heat ('it's in the nineties') but celsius for cold ('it's minus three').

Other countries have their own variants, and I remember thinking that it was odd that my Michelin guide to New York used Eiffel Towers to express the height of the Empire State Building. I thought, if they've bothered to translate it from French into English, why couldn't they translate the pictures too?

I've just googled this and found a rather nice translation utility: The Double-Decker Bus Calculator. You can use it to translate between preferred measures: for example it turns out that Wales is 401.138996 Manhattan Islands. Oddly enough, it omits Belgium (the metric equivalent to Wales).

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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Responsibility avoidance: how the passive voice helps

Easyjet wants an extra fiver for something called 'Speedy Boarding Plus'. Presumably this means you get to jump the queue in the boarding sprint. Here's how they explain it:

"Speedy Boarders get the widest choice of seats provided you’re at the gate when boarding starts. At certain airports we offer Speedy Boarding Plus which means you can check in at a dedicated priority desk. If you are bussed to the aircraft we can’t guarantee that you’re off the bus first."

We need a connective between the last two sentences: I think it means 'However, if you are bussed...'. In fact it sounds like people who pay the fiver get onto the bus first, which usually means they are last off.

Of course it would not be Easyjet's fault if you paid them a fiver and 'you are bussed'. In the passive voice, it just happens. No one makes it happen. It's just the way it is.

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Friday, February 01, 2008

Good news! We putting up the price!

We buy our electricity on a green tariff from Good Energy, who buy only from renewable sources. They've just written to say they have put the price up, reflecting changes in the wholesale market... or something - there is a bit of gobbledegook about how the market works and how the price increase is nothing to do with them (and there's me thinking there's a direct wire from their windmill to my house).

The letter ends with a splendid piece of rhetoric: 'We hope that increases in price, although unwelcome, will have a positive outcome by helping households across the UK to treat electricity as the precious resource it is and to use it wisely'.

Perhaps they should have gone the whole hog, and entitled the letter: Great news! Electricity prices have gone up!

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Saturday, January 26, 2008

Design police


Thanks to Beth at the Brand Union for sending me this truly wonderful link to the Design Police*. It's obviously hit the spot because it's on practically every design blog - and has revealed one or two sense of humour failures, judging by some of the comments. This is just a close up of 5 pages of stickers.

*The Design Police are Stephen Woowat and Karl Goldstraw. There is an interview with them on FontShop's Unzipped blog.

I wonder if this doesn't represent a real insight into simple, engaging ways to represent good practice. Having said that, each rule invites the question 'why', and the answers would range from legibility research to simple 'nice boys/girls don't do that'. For example, using inch marks for quotations doesn't actually do anyone any harm, but it is a signifier of competence that people will judge you by – like using the wrong knife at dinner.

Inspired by the Design Police, I'm now speculating about repurposing road signs (not original, I know) to warn readers of problems ahead in complex writing. Here are some signs whose meaning I hope is clear:

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Certain discrepancies

Standard Life wrote recently to tell us they are raising the management charge on our ISA. I'm trying to find the right adjective to describe their explanation of the reason for this:
"Standard Life Investments conduct regular reviews of their products. Following their most recent review, certain discrepancies came to light between their charging structure and those of their competitors."
Don't you just love the third person - nothing to do with us, it's them... although them is actually us. And obviously a discrepancy is a terrible thing. I'm so glad they've put it right. Happy to pay more. Wouldn't want a discrepancy. Oh no.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Virgin Media... we're watching you

Well we're not watching your TV service yet, actually, as the kit I need to connect in my new house hasn't arrived. The courier who tried to deliver my package left a printed note saying they had 'popped round'. For a cup of sugar, and a chat?

Judy Delin's 'Hello you' letter (see earlier post) should have warned me off this lot.

In order to arrange redelivery I had to call Virgin. Good thing was, it was only a couple of menu levels to reach what was apparently the right number. Bad thing was, they hung up on me every time. How about this for pseudo politeness: "we're still unusually busy, so instead of staying on the line you may like to give us a call later..." [cue the dial tone].

They are usually unusually busy, it seems.

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Monday, November 19, 2007

"Labour kills off 'husbands' and 'wives'"

This was a story in the Mail on Sunday yesterday. Apparently the term 'partner' is now used in place of 'husband', 'wife' or 'spouse' on some HMRC forms. This is attributed by the paper to a socialist conspiracy to destroy marriage.

Well, actually it's used in the question 'Do you have a partner?' instead of something like 'Do you have a spouse, partner (defined as a person you are living with as if you are married) or civil partner?'. So this very probably points to a civil servant trying to save space and write in plain English. Do they really think the Prime Minister and his cabinet discuss the wording on a form?

The article also notes that on the Child Benefit form you are asked to select your title from 'Mrs, Miss, Ms, Mr', and attributes this sequence to a 'nod to feminism'. Well, no, actually. The legislation requires Child Benefit to be paid to the mother, unless the child is living with the father or other person. And most mothers are married women ('Mrs'), followed statistically by unmarried women ('Miss'). 'Mr' comes last because it is the least likely response to the question.

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Monday, September 17, 2007

Word for the day: nocebo

The nocebo effect is the opposite of the better known placebo effect - Latin for 'I will harm' rather than 'I will please'. Just as dummy pills are known to produce beneficial results among around 25% of patients who believe them to be the real treatment, they also trigger side effects in many patients.

Interestingly for information designers, it's been suggested that lists of specific side effects in patient information leaflets (or web pages aimed at patients) may contribute to the effect.

And it turns out that the colour, size and shape of pills has long been known to influence their effectiveness: red, orange and yellow pills have a stimulant effect, while blue and green are more sedative. People expect pills for their heart to be red (but not necessarily heart-shaped, as far as I know).

Good reference on this is: Barsky et al (2002), Nonspecific medication side effects and the nocebo phenomenon. JAMA vol 287, 5, 622-627.

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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hello, you - Our Ref: (KMM5896382I10596L0KM)

Judy Delin received an email with this title from Virgin Media about her cable TV account. A wonderful juxatposition of matey brand language and bureaucracy. You're not just a number. Well, you are.

The email welcomes her to her new provider, and concludes 'The whole adventure is just beginning'. Worrying, that phrase.

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Monday, July 30, 2007

Orifices

I've bought a new radiator for our bathroom. The fitting guide is not so much instructional as liturgical: "Appoint on the wall the place of drilling the orifices... In the appointed places drill the orifices. The congregation shall stand."

Speaking of drilling, Plasplugs used to provide slightly superfluous instructions on using their drill bits. I think it was just so they could use the heading 'Boring instructions'.

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Monday, July 16, 2007

An early bath for heads up, or a heads up on early doors

What am I on about? Phrases which arrive through slips of the tongue, and stick around. Too many metaphors, I know, but stay with me a moment.

An example is 'early doors' which is generally assumed to have originated with football manager Ron Atkinson - famous for his expressive but sometimes mangled English (see this nice fanclub website on 'Ronglish'. It is used to mean 'early on' but no one knows where the doors bit comes in.

In our own information design world, we come across the term 'heads up mapping', which refers to maps that are oriented not with north at the top, as is conventional, but so the direction you are facing is at the top. In the research environment, I have seen this referred to as 'forward up', and this makes more sense to me. But because it is the way maps are shown on heads-up displays in aircraft cockpits, the term has slipped across to refer to map as well as the display.

Personally I am not convinced that forward up mapping works best for everyone. But more on this another time.

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

An heck of an annoying use of 'an'

Something that brings out the grumpy old man in me, is the way journalists invariably use 'an' before the word 'historical'. "This summit represented an historical moment...".

My mother is from a generation who pronounces 'hotel' in a slightly French way ("I stayed in an 'otel") but she doesn't say "an Humphrey Bogart movie" or "an Hello magazine" or "an honey and peanut butter sandwich". Mind you should probably wouldn't ask for these last two - she's more likely to ask for "an Country Life" and "an cucumber sandwich".

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Friday, February 23, 2007

Rite as yu spik


It's always good advice to 'write as you would speak'. Thanks to colleague Uwe Becker for this photo.

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Affix affectation affliction

I don't think she'll mind me mentioning this because it was a triumph, but a group of us went to see (colleague and distinguished linguistics expert) Judy Delin's debut in stand-up comedy. She had some fun with the language you encounter on the tube ('Dogs must be carried', 'Use all available doors', 'Alight for the Royal Institute for the Blind').

What is it with railways and the word 'alight'. Do they get off (alight?) on quaint pomposity? And why don't they do the full Russell Brand? Alight from the carriage and perambulate towards the exit portal. Not forgetting to mind the gap and take all your personal belongings with you when you arrive in at the next station stop.

'Alight' has a distant cousin, 'affix'. For some reason, we stick stamps to personal mail, but affix them to business mail.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Octothorpe (you know what I mean)

A colleague’s been debating with a mobile phone company client how to refer to an old-fashioned steam telephone. They want to choose from ‘fixed line’ and ‘land line’, with a preference for the former. She asked for votes from users and ‘land line’ won by a mile. Needless to say, the client wants ‘fixed line’. Actually, a lot of people said ‘none of the above’ and generally refer to ‘home phone’ instead.

This reminds me of a debate we had with BT a long time back, over what to call the # key when it needs to be spoken out loud in voice menus. The international telecommunications standard specifies ‘square’ and BT insist on using that to this day. The debate even went to their usability lab in Martlesham, who backed 'square' ... hmm. We believe 'square' could be there because the standard was translated from another language and the term with it. We went out in the street with a phone and as you would expect, no one called that key ‘square’. A lot didn’t know what to call it, but if they had a name it was generally called ‘hash’. Musicians called it the sharp sign, and someone with computing training called it ‘gate’. In the US it is more generally called the ‘pound sign’ or ‘number sign’. There is an good Wikipedia entry with further names under the headword Number sign.

The most bizarre name for the # sign is Octothorpe. This apparently first appeared in the 60s or 70s, but there is disagreement about its origin. In Elements of Typographic Style (p. 282), Robert Bringhurst says that ‘in cartography, it is also a symbol for village: eight fields around a central square, and this is the source of its name. Octothorp means eight fields.’

Really? Type ‘octothorpe’ and ‘cartography’ into Google and all you get is dictionary definitions quoting Robert Bringhurst – nothing from a cartography source.

Another explanation is given by a retired AT&T engineer, Ralph Carlsen, that he and a colleague made it up, when they needed a word for the # key when developing touchtone phones.

I turn out not be the only person puzzled by this bizarre word. Here are just a couple of the various websites chasing its origin:
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-oct1.htm
http://www.robertfulford.com/2005-06-14-octothorpe.html

Octothorpe is a truly bizarre phenomenon – a word that is never ever used for its notional meaning (ie, to refer to a telephone key), that has no real purpose or nuance to add, but that is in the OED (citing the daft ‘fields’ origin as a possibility), and whose origin is much discussed. At least one web dictionary I found claimed that there are variant spellings such as 'Octotherp', as if linguists had toured the country asking gnarled old telephone engineers for the terms that they and their forefathers had used for generations.

So my plan is to invent a new word for something, and get it in the OED. Any ideas?

More seriously, when you research something like this, it reveals the true limitations of the web – with its apparently authoritative websites packed with cut and paste repetitions of unsubstantiated information.

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

The soft snow of latin words

A nice quote, passed on to me by Abi Searle-Jones, who got it from A Word A Day (http://wordsmith.org/awad/):

A mass of Latin words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the
outline and covering up all the details. The great enemy of clear language
is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared
aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted
idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. In our age there is no such
thing as "keeping out of politics". All issues are political issues, and
politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and
schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer.
George Orwell, writer (1903-1950)

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Reversed type for headings







Usability research sometimes shows that people are ignoring reversed headings. When reading aloud, they will often just skip the heading as if they haven't noticed it. This is probably an example of the figure-ground illusion (often illustrated using the famous candlestick-faces diagram).

You can see this at work in typography when lists are printed this way. I remembering seeing the football league table printed this way – it was very hard to read both the white and black type together. Look at the table to see what order Everton, Bolton, Reading and Newcastle are in.

But rather than dismiss reversed type as unusable, we should instead see this as a phenomenon we can use wisely to good effect. In fact it is most often used for navigation, where we are designing for a two stage reading process (find it, then read it). Here, we don't actually want everyone to read everything, so the figure-ground phenomenon actually supports the ignoring of irrelevant detail until the right section is found.

But just in case people do fail to read the headings, it's wise to repeat the content in the text that follows.

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Monday, November 27, 2006

Hi! We're here for your furniture.

We've been helping a bank rewrite their debt collection letters. Like many modern brands, this bank has a tone of voice that's conversational and everyday. Much more so, actually, than most brands - in fact if we were to sincerely apply their brand tone of voice to the debt collection letters, we'd say 'cough up or we'll send the boys round'.

This project had a different approach from previous projects of this kind. Often, marketing departments like to keep the letters friendly at first and turn up the volume later, if the debt is still unpaid. But this can put people in danger of drifting into worse difficulties. Instead, if they are jolted into taking early action, they won't leave it until the debt is out of hand. That's the idea, anyway...

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

A new excuse for not taking enough exercise

Try this:

"Start by lying face down on the floor with your hands by your shoulders, the palm of your hands flat on the floor. Your feet should be about a foot (30cm) apart and when you push up to the top of the position you should keep your head in line with your body; it's easier to maintain this position by looking down. As you execute the push-up, pull your tummy button towards your back and squeeze your bottom muscles. Then lower down, about two inches (5cm) off the floor. This is the basic push-up. If, however, you are coming at this with no experience, you should do the push-up resting on your knees instead of your feet. Apply the same technique and keep your head in line with your back. To increase the difficulty of the exercise change the position of your hands. By moving your hands closer together, you'll feel the effort in the back of your arms as well as your chest. Or turn the palms of your hands on the floor so your fingers are facing each other; this will place greater emphasis on your chest muscles. Alternatively, if you really want to increase the intensity ask someone to apply a light pressure on your back. The added resistance will make the move harder and will develop the toning even quicker."

It's from a recent article in The Times by Gabby Logan (10.06.06).

A long time ago, spelling and punctuation were unstandardised. Now we're regarded as uneducated if we can't get it right. It would be nice to think that one day people will be writing to The Times about pieces like this one:

"Sir: I was dismayed to read the article on push-ups in yesterday's Times. As every schoolboy knows, procedural instructions should always be presented in numbered steps, with informative headings and a diagram."

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Friday, August 25, 2006

Completeness vs clarity

We're working for a government department which is frequently lobbied to include extra information in guidance they give the public about their eligibility for money. It seems that every time advisers are asked by a member of the public about a situation that isn't in the guidance, they insist that it be added. As a result, the guidance is now overlong, hugely complex, and virtually unread by the people it's intended for. So it's no longer usable by the people it's for, who end up asking for advice...

A few years ago I copied this cartoon from somewhere - possibly Private Eye. Makes the point very well, I think.

(apologies if reproducing it here breaks a copyright rule - if the owner asks, I'll take it off).

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